I've debated whether or not to even blog today. It has been a rather emotionally draining week. As I type I can feel HER move and I love it, it's very comforting and reassuring.
On Monday morning I got a call from my Dr. that one of my bazillion blood tests came back abnormally high for certain things, ie: Down Syndrome. It wasn't the funnest call to receive and my dr. wonderfully reassured me that this totally wasn't a 100% indication of things to come. I needed to come in for another full anatomy ultrasound and make sure that all was well. So yesterday Kyle and I had a long day of ultrasounds and tests, a delicious lunch in the cafeteria, and a consultation with the genetics dr. It's all very fascinating stuff, just not when it's your child.
So here is the short version of what we know:
*I'm FINALLY having a GIRL. I'm crying as I type this, I can't believe it. I adore my boys and am so thankful for 3 but I never actually thought that I would be blessed with a girl, I'm still in shock! I kinda thought deep down this could be the one because I have felt "different" this whole pregnancy. I don't know how to describe it- tired, zitty, and different. The whole surprise of this pregnancy as well...something was...different.
*Her ultrasound looked great. Everything was there and functioning normally and she's the right size for her due date.
*She showed both of her darling little hands spread out in a high five and that as well was a positive sign according to the lab tech.
* She didn't show any apparent signs of Down Syndrome...missing the nasal cavity bone...heart problems. So we were definitely relieved there.
Here's the not so great:
*30 % of DS babies show a perfectly normal ultrasound the entire pregnancy....it's a wait and see sorta deal.
*If it's not a problem with her -than it is a problem with my placenta. You know ....that minor little life line to the baby. So my blood work wasn't showing good numbers for one or the other of those things. Both my dr. and the genetics dr. think it's placenta related which makes me feel a little better however I'm now dealing with a whole new issue-premature delivery. I talked with my dr. yesterday and she said, and I quote, "I'll be ecstatic if you make it to 32 weeks, no ecstatic if you make it to 28 weeks." O.k. that threw me for a whole new loop. That's a minimum of 10 weeks from now. So I'll be praying that this little gal is not only normal but thriving. I'm just hoping my blood pressure remains normal and I'm not put on bed rest at home or the hospital...both have been mentioned. No time or desire for that.
I'm probably not making any sense here but the house is quiet and I wanted to share. It's all so scary and surreal. I've had 3 perfectly and totally normal pregnancies. I love being pregnant, love it. I always felt bad for ladies who had health issues or who struggled to maintain the pregnancy. I don't know exactly what I am up against and the unknown is awful. So right now I am in need of happy thoughts and constant prayers. Good vibes, funny jokes..anything from anyone... send them my way. And sooner than later, my pity/pitty (how is that spelled?) party will end.
15 comments:
Oh Kari,
I'm so sorry, I'm sure everything will turn out fine. I had placenta problems with Owen, and then two weeks later everything was fine. And I've had a lot of friend have that same Down Syndrome results, blood work questionable but no ultra sound corraltion. And for all of my friends (four) their babies were perfectly healthly.
The only thing you can do to help her is to think good positive thoughts, take care of yourself and don't allow yourself to worry bout it. That is the healthyest thing you can do for your darling perfect little girl.
...you're going to love having a little girl, she'll be your friend for life. Spend time thinking about that. :)
Congratulations on your pregnancy and having a girl! I had two boys and then this last time got a wonderful surprise...my first girl! Around 28 weeks along they spotted a hole in her heart...after a trip to the cardiologist we heard the news that there was an 80% chance of Down Syndrome. I was heartbroken.
Now I have the most beautiful precious baby girl who does happen to have 47 chromosomes. DS is nothing like what I thought it would be. She is amazing and more like my other children than she is different.
My hope for you is that your baby girl is of the 46C variety, but if not, know that she will still be beautiful and a wonderful part of your life.
Kari, I was so happy to hear you were having a girl,then of couse became so worried to hear of the possible problems ahead. We learned Addie had a life threatening condition a couple of weeks before she was born. The unknown was so frightening. One thing Kermit kept telling me that helped was to not borrow trouble. I took that to mean that life is complicated and so busy that worrying about something that you have no control over can make you crazy. I'm not saying don't worrry at all, just try to work through it with faith that Heavenly Father really is in charge. I know, its easy for me to say now that I have hindsight on my side, But it did help us during those moments when we became overwhelmed.
One thing is for sure...your little girl is coming to a wonderful family that will love her for who she is. She'll always have 3 older brothers who will make sure she is well cared for and protected. What a lucky girl! She will be such a blessing to your family. I will keep you in my prayers! If I think of any funny jokes I'll send them your way too. xoxox Much love, Cousin Ali (Sorry that was me that deleted a comment.)
I am teary reading this. Worry and anticipation can be so draining. I also thought of one of my best pals. Between the two of us, we are both of your possible realities. We each walked one of the paths you are facing. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. But aside from the worry - HOW GREAT THAT YOU ARE HAVING A GIRL! I would love to have someone to paint toenails with. Congratulations.
Check your e-mail inbox. Love you, pal!
Kari. Congratuations on your pregnancy! I am sad to hear of all the worry and fear that you are facig. You and your little girl will be in my prayers. What a scary thing it is sometimes to know so much, huh?
The doctors told my my Brooklyn had DS. They enrolled me in a DS study for the whole pregnancy, we grieved, prayed, prepared, and then came to peace. And then, she was born healthy... and that was just a bonus, because we loved her little spirit long before we saw the state of her body. I know that you will do the same. The more peace you can find about all this, the more peace she will feel... and I believe that's healthy for a growing little person.
Keep us posted. I'll be praying for you.
I've never been a very funny person :) But I'll try to come up with a joke!
Who's ready for some buttermilk pancakes, maple syrup, and whipped butter--what?? Hopefully you saw "Psych" last night and if not, we have it on the dvr, so you are totally covered. Oh wait--we do live 16 hours apart, but Curtis and I can alternate doing great lines for you over the phone. Something to totally think about...
I love my very favorite sis...
xoxo-Kir
I love you Kari, your baby will be the most precious and loved little girl ever! Congratulations! Everything will be as it should be...Heavenly Father really does know what he is doing. I am sure he has a whole bunch of confidence in you and your family! My thoughts and prayers are with you and I too will do my best to think of something funny to amuse you.
YaY!! A Girl. That is such exciting news! And the other stuff . . . not so exciting. I would be feeling the same way, i'm sure of it. Just like a previous comment, it is in Heavenly Fathers hands. He knows what he is doing. Your baby with be so precious. I am sure everything will turn out just fine.
Awww - A girl! She's going to be gorgeous! Of course I want to say the right thing, but just know I'm praying for a healthy baby and mom...
IF she's born early, you also have less time to shop, which...may be a good thing. In my case I should've had ALL cash and cards taken away from me after I found out I was having a girl. I never loved pink so much in my life. :)
Hi Kari! I've just learned that is your REAL name...
First, Congrats on getting pink! I just got my boy. After two fabulous girls it is so fun to experience blue! You will have a blast with your little lady.
Second, from the sounds of it you share my faith (I've read some of your past posts). If I have learned anything in my infertility/adoption journey, it is that THERE IS A PLAN! Your plan has been hand picked for you and your family. You will be perfectly blessed with exactly what you need to handle whatever you need to handle.
I know it's easier said than done, but don't forget the joy amidst this trial. Having a precious baby growing inside of you is a blessing that I wish I would have cherished more when I was able to do it.
I'll be checking in to see how things are going for you.
*heart* Jessica
Oh and yes I was totally running in place to the beat of Viva la Vida.
Kari – I want you to know that I love you and that I am here when you need someone! Send the boy’s over if you need time. I know one thing is for sure whatever the outcome is she will be beautiful, a gift and have the most loving parent’s and big brothers in the entire world!
My thoughts and prayers are with you!
xoxo Janeen
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